Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
