How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
