wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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