I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
