YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
