Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
