Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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