omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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