That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
handjob tips. give me some.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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