she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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