Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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