i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
