Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
