don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
