Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
