Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
