Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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