taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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