Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
