nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
where are you?
Hypothermia
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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