dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
