You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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