I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
