Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
