Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
