So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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