im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
