VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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