Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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