i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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