he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize