You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize