i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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