After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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