garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Houston, we have a blender
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
