u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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