East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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