My room smells like vodka and shame
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
