Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
