now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
