I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
whose parrot is this?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize