dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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