Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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