you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
