That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
