i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
