My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
