i permit you to call me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
