also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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