her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
