i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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