Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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