the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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