I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
