In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
