Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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