is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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