That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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