he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
