went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
