I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
