i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
